Tales of Mobi-Diction, pt1

The weekend is nearly upon us, which I think calls for a more relaxed, anecdotal post. A friend, who due to the sensational nature of this story will remain nameless, related this to me a few days ago:

"I just upgraded from a pretty basic phone to the new iPhone. Having used mobile devices for years with a commendable degree of sanity and moderation, I thought I could adapt to my new one without any problems. But the iPhone's just got so many features, especially GPS, that I've gotten accustomed to and have come to rely upon it more than I should. This was made clear to me the other day.

Since the iPhone has GPS, I never bother to look up the address of where I'm going before I leave the house, since I can just do it on the fly. So when I found out that my girlfriend's parents were in town for a surprise visit, I suggested we all eat dinner. It was my job to choose the restaurant, but I'd just left work and didn't have time to go home first. So I grabbed my trusty new iPhone, pulled up the GPS and looked up the address for a hip new restaurant, 'Liza,' that a buddy had told me about. I called my girlfriend, told her the address, and let her know I'd be a little behind them and that they could go ahead and grab a table.

As I approached the restaurant a few minutes later I saw my girlfriend and her parents standing outside the front door. They looked a little annoyed. I asked if there was a long wait inside, to which my girlfriend curtly replied, "There's no wait." "Well, you didn't need to wait up on me." My girlfriend looked at me in a way no one's ever looked at me, like she was choking for air. In the same curt tone, she spat out: "Why don't you go in and check it out for yourself?"

I stepped inside. Music blared. Lots of red lights and mirrors. This was not the restaurant I'd heard about. And then I connected all the dots. The stage, the pole in the center? I'd invited my girlfriend and her parents to a strip club. In utter panic and confusion, I stumbled outside again.

I was screwed either way. If I lied and told them I purposely sent them to a strip club, they wouldn't have seen the humor in it. And if I told them that I just plugged something into my iPhone they'd think I was irresponsible and uncaring. Needless to say, the only thing I've been using the Internet on the iPhone for recently has been reading articles on how to correct relationship mistakes.

It was much later that I found out I'd misheard my friend. Riza, not Liza, was the restaurant he'd recommended. Of course, if I'd never allowed myself to become so reliant on my device, I'd never have been in this situation, would I?"

That's a pretty good one. I know that you or someone you know's had a similarly funny, embarrassing, or downright frightening experience arising from your addiction to a mobile device, and I'd love to hear about them. Feel free to post below!